Are you in the mood? Why it matters so much

What’s your mood right now? Ambitious? Irritated? Joyful? Anxious? Curious? Resigned? Something else?

How is your mood affecting you? How open or closed are you to others? To conversations? To possibilities? How does your mood affect how you approach any challenges you have in front of you at this moment? What do you notice about your body posture? How how does it feel on the inside?

You and I are always in a mood. It is a pervasive aspect of our everyday lives. We find ourselves in a mood. We wake up into a mood. Waking good mook We feel the impact of our own and others’ moods everyday. Mostly, we don’t consider mood as a leverage point for catalyzing change and accomplishing outcomes. But, research based on observations and analysis of hundreds of senior leaders bears out the extent to which mood is a critical factor in organizational success.

Why am I bringing this up? As someone committed to catalyzing change for the good, gaining awareness and some level of mastery around mood will support your delivering on the work you are passionate about.

What is mood and how does it work?
Think of mood as your general climate and any particular emotion as the weather. Your moods are emotions that persist over time and create a particular emotional tone in your life and for those around you. Each different mood has a different “feel”. Your mood reveals how you are oriented toward your current circumstances, toward others, toward what’s possible, and what actions make sense – a sort of “worldview”. Negative moods, show that we assume that current and/or future possibilities are constrained or closed in some way. Positive moods show us that we assume future possibilities are open for us in some way. And, importantly, moods get expressed in particular behaviors and body demeanor, that reinforce the mood.

Think about it. Consider some common negative moods: Resentment – generally anger that has not been resolved over time, that some possibility has been closed off for us unjustly or unfairly and cannot be changed. Resignation – nothing much is possible for me in the future. Why bother trying? What kinds of actions are most likely in the midst of those moods? Now consider some common positive moods: Curiosity – Something new is possible here, there is something I can learn. Ambition – Change or something new is possible and I am able to contribute to that. What kinds of actions are most likely in the midst of these moods?

How does mood affect how we live and work together? Researchers have shown that this happens through a process called mood contagion. Like it or not, our nervous system interacts with other people’s nervous systems. (Think about the “chemistry” when you meet someone new.) Your nervous system can and does affect my nervous system when we are in proximity because the limbic system, the neurological center of emotion in our brain, is an open system. It allows us to be affected by the external environment, including other people’s nervous systems. This evolutionary phenomenon, grew out of the need for human beings to care for their helpless infants. Because of this open system, you can “catch” another’s mood. And, you can influence another’s mood.

Generating and Managing Mood: From Impatience to Appreciation
A client of mine, let’s call him “Peter” is working on improving his relationship with his staff. He’d gotten fairly consistent feedback from a number of people that they didn’t feel listened to, even when he asked them a question. And, as a result, over time, they didn’t feel respected and many had stopped trying to contribute their ideas and creativity, which were sorely needed in the housing field in which they work. The client was sincerely committed to improving this situation. When I asked Peter how he’d characterize his stance toward others he said, “Like a tiger, ready to pounce.”

tiger Peter described a mood of impatience and anticipation, in which he waited for the right moment to cut off whoever he was talking with to insert his opinion. When he reflected, he could sense the feel of impatience in his body, the anticipation of the pounce. He could see how it affected his musculature, how he held himself. He could see how others would easily sense this in him. He wasn’t surprised that motivation in his organization was at a low point.

I asked Peter, “What mood would encourage the people in your organization to contribute their ideas and creativity more freely?” After a reflective pause, he responded, “You know the Pink Panther?” I was a bit taken aback, saying to myself, “The Pink Panther? What’s up with that?” He got up from his chair and stood against the wall with his arms folded in front of him in a relaxed way. Pink Panther drawing

He said, “Yeah – I’m relaxed and settled, rather than getting ready to pounce. I’m sitting back, not trying to control what’s happening. I don’t have to have the last word.” A light bulb went off, for him “Yeah, I’m appreciating the people in my organization!” He could feel the difference in his body and describe how this very different mood of appreciation would affect his way of relating to the people who work with him.

Our work together focused on his cultivating this new mood of appreciation by developing and practicing the qualities and behaviors that supported it. A year later, after dedicated self-awareness and practice, things are vastly improved. Peter is more able to settle himself and listen when he feels the impulse to cut someone off. He is now able to respond to the people who work with him vs. react. The people around him experience being more respected and appreciated for their contribution.

What you can do – Generating moods:
Check this out for yourself:

What’s your current mood? Do you have a default mood? How does it affect you? Those around you and how you relate to them? How does it feel in your body? What is the quality of energy it fosters? What actions are you inclined to take or not take in this mood?

What mood will most support your aspirations? Take a moment to recall a time when you were in that mood. How did it feel internally? How did you relate to others? How did the future look to you? What actions were you inclined to take or not take?

Generating the moods that support your aspirations: A key to mood is working with your body and your nervous system. Synapses firing in certain ways produce certain kinds of moods. So, here are some suggestions you can work with:

Find music that evokes the mood you want to foster. Play it while you work. Play it in the car. Create environments where you can surround yourself with it. Music affects your nervous system!

Work with your body: What body posture or movement helps to foster the mood you aspire to embody? Be mindful of your body through the day. Notice if you default to a certain body posture. Generally, positive moods are reflected in and supported by more open body postures. Stretching, doing yoga, or other exercises to open your body is helpful. Shifting your body, helps to shift your mood.

Work with your energy: What kind of energy characterizes the mood you want to live into. What practices can you take on that will support your generating that kind of energy. For example, maybe moving around, running, or dancing to build energy, or calming your energy by taking a walk or taking some quiet time by shutting off your computer and phone.

Work with your behaviors: What behaviors are consistent with the mood you aspire to? Practice those behaviors. Actually practice them. They can be small. In fact, it’s great to start small. For example, make it a point to acknowledge individuals you work with, when you sit in a meeting, practice just listening and not talking, just to see what that’s like. Or, conversly, if speaking would support the mood you aspire to generate, speak up!

Think of an image or metaphor that can help you "feel your way into" the mood: Like the "ready to pounce" tiger and more laid back Pink Panther, images and metaphors can serve to call up a full sense of the mood you’d like to cultivate, much like a poem or music. Images and metaphors access a particular part of the brain that supports this different "way in".

Find people who can support you: This kind of self-development is often difficult, because it’s about shifting habits of mind, heart and body. So, it’s helpful to have at least a few people with whom you can be in conversation. I’ve seen courageous leaders tell the people who report to them about what they’re working on, as a way of encouraging transparency.

Experiment with this.! It’s not simply a function of “will” or “positive thinking”. Rather it requires awareness and practice over time. That’s what will take it from insight into action. Given what you are up to in the world, it’s worth it!

If you’re interested in more on this topic:

“Primal Leadership: The Hidden Driver of Great Performance,” Daniel Goleman, Richard Boyatis, Annie McKee, Harvard Business Review , December 2001. (Reprint #R0111C)
Coaching to the Human Soul, Volumne II, Alan Sieler, Newfield Australia 2007.